In a world where abortion is often portrayed as a simple medical procedure, women are told that it’s no different than getting a bad tooth removed. They’re assured that any feelings of regret or guilt are merely imaginary or the result of societal conditioning and judgment from others. Yet, despite this prevailing narrative, countless women grapple with shame and regret after having an abortion.
We believe that dismissing these emotions insults the women who genuinely experience them. Telling women that they shouldn’t feel regret and that their feelings are invalid is not only disrespectful but also judgmental.
Society insists this post-abortive grief is “imaginary” or inappropriate. Women are silenced, stifled, and mocked for their sorrow. Post-abortive suffering contradicts society’s narrative about abortion, and this creates an unsupportive and dismissive attitude, expecting women to just “move on” and “get over it.”
When people outright deny the issue, it leaves numerous women suffering in solitude, too ashamed to acknowledge their anguish. The fear of being truthful with themselves or seeking assistance only exacerbates and deepens the grieving process.
Experiencing regret despite being discouraged from doing so can result in a phenomenon known as “disenfranchised grief.”
The Unspoken Regret
Are women regretting their abortions? The answer is yes. In one study, 44% of women who had an abortion said they regretted it. On this website filled with testimonials, countless women have come forward saying things like, “I am never to forget what I did, and I am never going to forgive myself,” and describing abortion as “the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”
The fact that these experiences exist should make us pause and reflect. If abortion were genuinely comparable to removing an infected tooth, there wouldn’t be such a widespread backlash or a need to insist that the regret is imaginary or externally induced. It simply wouldn’t arise in the first place.
The Vicious Cycle of Regret
You’re not alone.
Suppressing your feelings may seem easier, but is actually hurting you further. This approach only perpetuates a vicious cycle of guilt, shame, and emotional turmoil. Denying one’s emotions and experiences doesn’t lead to resolution; it only deepens the wounds. You deserve to be heard, understood, and supported in your grieving and healing process.
Acknowledging the Regret
The first step towards healing is to acknowledge the regret. Women naturally form deep emotional bonds with their children, even their preborn babies. It’s not strange to think that losing that connection with another human being, no matter the circumstances, would cause profound grief.
The Support You Deserve
You can find new life, freedom, and redemption.
“I used to suffer from guilt, shame, and depression, but the Hope & Healing program has helped me walk through the trauma and heal.” – Barbara, real Choices client (name changed for confidentiality)
Are You Longing for a Fresh Start?
If you or someone you know is struggling with unwanted feelings after an abortion, we offer free, confidential, compassionate support.