A story reached the press recently of a woman who saved her son from the jaws of a mountain lion. The article stated that after the animal dragged the boy about 45 yards from her front lawn, this mother “Ran out of the house and started punching and striking the mountain lion with her bare hands and got him off her son.”
The term “momma bear” rings true for a reason. Mothers will step in front of bullets or speeding cars to save their children. The mysterious bond between a mother and her child cannot be explained scientifically, but it is undeniably strong.
That is why experiencing abortion can cause intense and lingering grief. It is known as disenfranchised grief—a grief that society does not allow you to feel.
Why Should I Grieve Over A Clump of Cells?
Planned Parenthood’s answer to the problem of abortion grief is to simply deny it. Any feelings of guilt and shame are either false, imaginary, or born out of external, societal conditioning. What’s inside you is not a life, they say, only a clump of cells.
A tumor is a clump of cells. No one ever felt guilt or shame in having a tumor removed and disposed of. If the life growing inside you was only a clump of cells then lingering sadness over its loss makes no sense.
Yet we know this is not the case.
Consider The Facts:
- Your baby has a heartbeat 6 weeks after conception.
- Most unborn babies are fully formed at the time of abortion–all they have left to do is grow!
- Many babies are even aborted at full-term or even after being born alive.
If nothing else, these facts reveal outright deceit in referring to an unborn baby as a clump of cells. This blatant lie fools only those who want to be fooled. Unfortunately, that is quite a lot of women.
If abortion were an ordinary, routine procedure–no different than tumor removal–there would not be so many women struggling to cope with it.
There is no getting around the fact that abortion ends the lives of fully-formed, unborn babies. As a result, many women are experiencing disenfranchised grief. It is a deep and lingering grief that is all the stronger because they are not allowed to process it.
Society insists that this grief is not real, that it is imaginary, or even wrong. Women are silenced, shut down, and ridiculed for feeling sadness. Post-abortive suffering does not fit with society’s attitudes about what constitutes a loss. They refuse to support you because you should just “get over it” already… yet, the feeling of pain won’t go away.
When society denies the problem outright, it leaves many women suffering alone, afraid to admit their pain. An inability to be honest with themselves, or those who can help, only intensifies and worsens the grieving process.
What Can You Do?
If you have had an abortion and are struggling to feel normal again, Choices is here for you. We have compassionate counselors and advocates who can help you process your experience in a safe, judgment-free place so that you can find hope and healing.