Imagine a scenario where a Russian-speaking person and a Chinese-speaking person are locked in a room together, tasked with assembling a car engine – and they have no choice but to rely solely on each other.
Communication between men and women is not so different. It’s like we speak different languages. This creates no end of trouble when we come into the relationship expecting the opposite sex to understand us perfectly.
Why was he so nice yesterday and now he’s distant? Why is he ignoring me when I’m clearly hurting? Why is he so blind?
*Men and women are fundamentally different* making effective communication… well, complicated.
Many people assume that we are all the same on the inside.
Why do we assume this?
In today’s society, we downplay the differences between men and women, to say the least. Many think that sexual identities can be easily changed, like costumes.
This in spite of the fact that science and biology overwhelmingly and consistently demonstrate that men and women are vastly different, even on microscopic levels.
The Science Behind Differences:
Studies and research have repeatedly shown that men and women differ not only in physical attributes but also in cognitive and emotional aspects. Our biological makeup influences our perspectives, neurological factors, thought processes, and communication styles. From hormonal differences to brain structure variances, these distinctions shape how men and women perceive and express themselves.
As pioneering doctor, Paula Johnson says in her well-researched Ted talk, “Every cell in the human body has a sex, which means that men and women are different right down to the cellular level.”
The Challenge of Communication:
Does this mean that communication between men and women is impossible? Nope. It is possible – in fact, it’s vital. But let’s be honest—it’s definitely not a walk in the park.
Listed below are some strategies you can adopt to make communication much more fruitful and effective:
1. Don’t Communicate in Anger:
This might seem obvious. but there’s a common trap we all fall into: When you’re angry is the one time you want to talk about it. That’s when we’ve got all the well-formulated arguments with helpful sub-points.
When you most want to “have that little talk,” is almost never when you should have it.
Attempting to have a constructive conversation while consumed by anger is akin to trying to reason when drunk or insane. Rational thinking becomes clouded, making it challenging to communicate effectively. Cool off first.
2. Practice Active Listening:
True understanding and progress can only be achieved when both people feel genuinely heard and have the freedom to express themselves without prejudice, interruption, or argument. Active listening involves empathy, validation, and respect for the other person’s perspective.
3. Embrace Differences:
Healthy communication does not necessarily mean being on the exact same page. As mentioned above, men and women have different priorities and approaches. God made us that way and meant for us to try to complement each other in those differences, not to become the same.
Women often prioritize relationship dynamics, while men tend to focus on accomplishing goals or missions. Both perspectives are valuable, and creating a space where both partners feel heard is crucial.
4. Communication is *not* the answer:
If you search the internet or skim through relationship advice, you’ll likely come across the notion that communication is the holy grail, the ultimate solution for all relationship woes.
Here’s the truth: while communication is undeniably vital, it’s not the magic cure-all. If you rely solely on commutation it will fail you.
Why? We all have our blind spots, and everything we do and say is influenced by these blind spots. Communicating without this awareness is like attempting to fix a broken leg with Scotch tape.
Arguments may become cyclical, and resolution may seem unattainable. You may find yourself stuck, looping around the same old arguments, or up till 2 am duking it out, crying, and getting nowhere.
In such moments, it is vital to turn to prayer.
Why? God is the maker and designer of relationships. Ultimately, only He can fix it!
In Search of Relationship Support?
Did you know that Choices Pregnancy Centers provide a wide range of services beyond pregnancy services? Our dedicated staff members are here to support you as you navigate challenging situations and seek healthy relationships.